Women Problems...Sorry Fellas.

[Lawrence189]

Guys....I remember a few months ago when I posted "I'm back, here to stay, ready to give input and help in any way possible."

Bullshit? No.

Women.

So I fell for a girl, me and her seemed interested and I guess her side of the interest faded, which kinda broke my heart because I really believe she is "the one." the "soul mate."
I don't know what her deal is because she keeps in contact with me and reciprocates everything I flirt or say well. "leading me on?" we'll see.

Anyways. It's been a big distraction from my life and I'm just trying to get back on track. I know I'm kinda expendable. But soon and surely I'll be back on here. Never knew love would get me like this. Never really ever fell for a girl and I'm 20 years old ya know.

Anyways, that's that, time will tell.

[Janke]

Love, or just infatuation?

Consider it the latter, and it will be easier to get over.

[cgbier]

The first cut is always the deepest.

Consider it the latter, and it will be easier to get over

Listen to him. He's got it right.

[MrMicah]

Either way, it will be part of what makes you what you will become. Make sure you become something that people will admire and respect.

Draw from it all the good things. Leave any bitterness behind (but rememeber it because if you write, or shoot or do creative things like that, capturing those feelings in an authentic way is a rare talent)

[Lawrence189]

Draw from it all the good things. Leave any bitterness behind

Been doing that for about 4 weeks now.

I must admit men, I've become a better man from this whole experience. It just sucks really bad.

[cgbier]

20 y/o? Believe me, that won't be the last time you become a better man.... you grow with your experience. Keep your time. You haven't missed anything so far.

[Almohada]

The first cut is always the deepest.

Yup... that first cut got me into editing about 7 years ago!

[Jim E]

She keeps in contact with you? And reciprocates everything you say?

So then, what makes you think it's over?

[cgbier]

Yup... that first cut got me into editing about 7 years ago!

I drank a whole case of sparkling mineral water after my first cut. She expected me to go out and get drunk, but I didn't want to give her that satisfaction....

[1]

So then, what makes you think it's over?

Yeah, I didn't get that either.

[1]

big distraction from my life

Isn't that true for EVERY woman though?

(oh, me so naughty!!!)

[Dr. Benway]

Be tough. Look after yourself. Don't be manipulated or left hangiing by any woman, if that's what happening, they really don't appreciate pliable men.

She either wants you or she doesn't, and if it is the latter never talk to her again.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

[Lawrence189]

Thanks for the input, lads.
I really do like this girl, and when we see each other in person at work, we're shy to start our little chats but they do get rolling.
I'm going to take my time to get to know her more, and once she knows me more I think she will be more comfortable with the idea of dating me. I feel she is heart broken, and scared of being hurt, as am I.
She's not just some 'random girl' we click really well.

Thanks for taking the time to help a guy out.

[Jim E]

Let's see if I've got this right, Lawrence.

You fell for this girl, and you weren't dating yet but you chatted with her occasionally, but then you got the notion that she wasn't interested any more, even though she still chats with you at work, and so now you're going to keep chatting with her until you think the time is right to ask her out.....?

I definitely had it all wrong, dude! I thought she was already your gf, but she broke it off, and you were broken-hearted and shattered and.... like that...

If not, I've got some more advice. Don't be so sensitive, especially at this stage, or any stage afterwards, for that matter. And don't tell her that you told your buddies that you thought she wasn't interested. She won't think it's touching - she'll think it's intrusive. Women hate being "monitored" like that.

As the good Doctor said, she's not going to stay interested if she finds out that you're so pliable and easily-hurt!

Hope it turns out for you, anyway.

[Daniel Rutter]

Being someone who actually fell so far into the neverending hole of film making because of a breakup, I don't know if anything I say will be of help... but maybe sharing my experiences will help you with yours.

Throughout the years and throughout the various girlfriends and such I've had... I've found that the more you allow a woman to be your main interest, the more the rest of your life will suffer. I'm finding that even now... and I've been through this all before. The woman I'm with now I've been with for close on 19 months, I live with her... and for the most part we're happy. But I tell you what, the moment a fight breaks out... my mind stays in that place for WEEKS. It distracts me from the important things.

Anyway, that doesn't really have much to do with your situation. The way I see it, you're just nervous and afraid of this girl. I'd be one of just many of the guys in this thread who will tell you never be afraid of a woman (unless it's your mother, lol). Oh, and if you must be afraid... never allow her to see it. Women like confident men, and will definitely fall for them a LOT quicker if he appears to be fearless, and unafraid of her. Be kind, loving and caring... but don't ever be afraid. You like her, make sure she knows it. What do you have to lose? You have only a friendship with her now, and you want more. If she says no, then all you've lost is a friendship in which you're just wanting more (and will never have it) anyway!

[Janke]

close on 19 months, I live with her...

19 YEARS for me & my gal - and we've never had a real fight. Some disagreements, sure, but none lasting more than a day or two.

There's a reason for this working so well - we both like me !

[cgbier]

we both like me

That's the most important!

[Daniel Rutter]

19 YEARS for me & my gal - and we've never had a real fight.

Guess you're one of the lucky ones then Janke Mind you, I'm only 22... so I don't exactly expect everything in my life to work as expected, especially not relationships.

But hey, I'm dedicated... so thats gotta count for something, right?

[1]

19 YEARS for me & my gal

Pfffhhh....that's still the honeymoon phase as far as I'm concerned!

[Erik Bien]

My wife and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary last month, but that's actually 20 years together (we obviously didn't rush right into the marriage thing).

[Playing]

I had clients who were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, so I asked them what their secret was.
Answer: "We agree on - NOTHING!"

[Jim E]

.......never be afraid of a woman (unless it's your mother, lol). Oh, and if you must be afraid... never allow her to see it. Women like confident men, and will definitely fall for them a LOT quicker if he appears to be fearless, and unafraid of her. Be kind, loving and caring... but don't ever be afraid. You like her, make sure she knows it. What do you have to lose?

Very well said, Dan.

.

[Daniel Rutter]

Thanks Krute. I've always been a pretty shy guy when it comes to the ladies, but I figure if I'm single and I'm looking for a woman... why tread lightly? In the words of Monty Python "You came with nothing, you leave with nothing... what have you lost?"...

Oh, and one more thing... you may be desperate to be with this girl (or to be with any girl, and not to be alone)... but for the love of god, don't let her know that. That air of desperation can be smelt by the female species a mile off!

Oh, and... be yourself. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than being yourself

[drapeama]

To add to Daniel's comment: Be yourself, try to look confident and act like it doesn't affect you at all when you see her or any other people that might know about it.
Not easy to do, I reckon, but it may help you as you can't imagine! For the next few days and further down the road.
Just my 0.02¢

[Playing]

That air of desperation can be smelt by the female species a mile off!

Daniel I think this is very good advise, not just with the ladies, but in business too. Thanks.