So far two entries? Valid entries I mean. Too bad Rookie hasn't been able to do it on time. I thought we would get more than that. Anyway, thanks for the ones that have entered this round!
I'll add the videos to the group (Unless AJUK or Vishus would be able to do it first) as I'm at work at the moment. So, I'll post my review of both entries later today.
Make sure, if you want to review the videos too, to use the template available here.
@ Mr.Micah. Oh, really. Then you've done really well. Your story is very easy to follow and the long takes feel so well executed.
I'm on holiday in the West Highlands right now draps, so you might need to do the honors.
Congratulations Mr.Micah and RockDonkey. Looking forward to the Judges review.
RockDonkey will you let us in to what you did to piss people off so much that they want to see you dead?
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It's more the other way. Others have taken chances and screw up.
Thanks. I wanted to do something that was a bit challenging to execute, but which I thought I could finish.Originally Posted by RockDonkey
The actors/actresses were all interested in making the film work (I had to audition about 30) so I think that helped. We all had fun.
drapeama's Contest #35 Review
Ok then!
So, I've just checked all entries, all of them were uploaded before the deadline, and all of them featured a poster/teaser in a separate thread, so 3 valid entries!
Here's my reviews:
MrMicah - Unexpected
Respect of the Theme : 7,5/10
Presentation Concept : 6,5/10
Story : 20/25
Acting : 7/10
Sound : 9/15
Cinematography : 11/15
Editing : 10/15
Overall Score : 71/100
Overall Appreciation & Reviewer's Comments:
What a nice first entry! It was good! A nice story, some nice DP skills, some good acting in it! A well-mixed receipt!
Respect and presentation were well done. Maybe I would have put more emphasis at the end of the phone call that the mother receive, to make it more "dramatic" ?
Story was nicely done! Simple, but shows that a contrast can happen with something everyone takes as granted...
Acting was good, for (I assume) non-professional actors? Just as good as we could expect. Reactions and emotions were quite well shown.
Sound was nice, maybe 1-2 scenes were it was a bit hot or roomy, other than this, it shows that there's some skills in that department!
Cinematography, it was clear that you put a considerable ammount of work in it with dolly & jib shots. Lighting wasn't bad, except 2-3 scenes with harsh lighting due to camera exposure. All in all, it was well done!
Editing was good too. Nothing exceptional, but shows some basics.
Overall, you did what many usually don't do: you've shot a short film with a good story in it!
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Rock Donkey - Daily Contrasts-Documentary
Respect of the Theme : 7/10
Presentation Concept : 7/10
Story : 11/25
Acting : 6/10
Sound : 7/15
Cinematography : 8/15
Editing : 9/15
Overall Score : 55/100
Overall Appreciation & Reviewer's Comments:
Nice concept Wal! I was hoping for more at the end, like a punch or something that would have explained that there was a good reason not to renew his passport, being sick or something...but it was simple a question of paperwork in the end!
Respect of the theme was ok, as it would be quite a contrast! The presentation was nice, very documentary-style!
Story, well, it was good, but I would have expected more details, more insight stories with it. Maybe more thoughts about how the main character feelings?
The acting was good. I would have try to empasize on the feelings of the character in scenes without dialogs, like holding his hand in his hands.
Sound was as it's supposed to sound: documentary-ish! Not that it's a bad thing in this particular video, just that in some scenes, it was close to difficult to hear. But there wasn't much work in it, as it's been captured that way.
The cinematography was handheld all the way. I would, personally, have tried to incorporate some scenes, from an outside "view" which wouldn't have been shaky. To show how & what the character was doing other than pointing the camera towards him. That, if it would have been possible of course.
The editing was some kind of in-camera editing style, so there's not much to say about it.
All in all, even if the style was simple, didn't required a lot of work, it was well done in that category. It was a nice documentary!
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RookieGigs - 8)The Choice
Respect of the Theme : 6/10
Presentation Concept : 6/10
Story : 12/25
Acting : 5/10
Sound : 9/15
Cinematography : 8/15
Editing : 8/15
Overall Score : 54/100
Overall Appreciation & Reviewer's Comments:
Here again, nice first entry to the contest! The idea of your short film was quite simple, but I tend to think that you gave it a nice look and mood!
The story was simple as possible, without much involved in it, but I think you've well represented what the contrast was in it!
Acting, it was difficult to clearly review it, as pretty much all the camera work was from behing you, so you're face wasn't visible. But from what you've shown, and what you've said, as well as what you "imagined", it was nicely portrayed.
About sound, there was 1 scene I remember to be noisy, and in the others, the voice was clear and clean.
Cinematography was nice, even if simplist as there was only 3 or 4 shots in the whole short. But it was nice to see a short film actually shot on a tripod! Refreshing!
Editing was well done too, even if it was simple too. There weren't useless stuff between the cuts. One thing though: if your camera can't do 16x9, I'd let it 4x3 as "original ratio". Or, in your video editor, select a 16x9 project and zoom your video in, to "cut" the top/bottom parts to "achieve" 16x9 from it.
All in all, it was a nice little entry and I'm glad you've submited something! Great little short film here Ericka!
And my vote goes to MrMicah for his 'unexpected' entry (no pun intended!). Let's see other judges' reviews!
Hi Drapeama,
Thanks for the feedback.
The actors are not professionals, although two have done a bit of amateur theatre before. They were all people who want to act though, and I found them on an online casting call web-site.
Just to make sure, AJUK, Vishus and Huey were the "official" judges for this one. I've posted my review, if none of them post a review by the end of the week, we'll take any other user's review, as long it's been made via the template. We'll decide for a winner with 3 submitted reviews.
No prob. Hope my review helped you in a way!
Any suggestions for the next round? Post it in the general discussion thread. We'll get the next round ready.
I can submit a standby review.
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Use this password to see mine:
da-da-da-daily
My freedom of speech is where the rights to my identity is so can't really say things I do in this video.
Congratulations to all contestants on a job well done.
I enjoyed all three entries, especially because they were so different.
MrMicah - Unexpected
Respect of the Theme : 9/10
Presentation Concept : 9/10
Story : 20/25
Acting : 9/10
Sound : 7/15
Cinematography : 10/15
Editing : 14/15
Overall Score : 78/100
This is a highly polished entry and it is obvious that you put a lot of care into it.
The contrast between the two girls fit the theme perfectly. The acting was excellent.
Cinematography was good with a few problems with exposure. Sound was OK.
The one thing I did not like was the ending. To me the second accident spoilt it.
The girl shouting his name across the street was enough.
It’s normally Drapes who talks about color grading, but maybe some overall color theme could look good.
An excellent entry.
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Rock Donkey - Daily Contrasts-Documentary
Respect of the Theme : 5/10
Presentation Concept : 9/10
Story : 15/25
Acting : 7/10
Sound : 7/15
Cinematography : 7/15
Editing : 10/15
Overall Score : 60/100
Respect of the theme was a bit of a stretch but I liked the concept of the walk very much. Not being able to eat the apple because someone else is there was inspired. Some of the handheld camera worked, some less so. I would have preferred a more fluid transition from tripod to walking.
I liked to collage of different little bits of information like the water level and how you showed us where we are going or coming from.
I really cared for the character and want to know more about him.
Overall a good concept that needs more attention.
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RookieGigs - The Choice
Respect of the Theme : 9/10
Presentation Concept : 6/10
Story : 12/25
Acting : 7/10
Sound : 7/15
Cinematography : 7/15
Editing : 10/15
Overall Score : 58/100
Congratulations on your first entry. I liked the different camera angles you used and the editing was good. I would have preferred all the shots on a tripod so the phone only moves with the hand holding it. Typing was a bit slow. The room noise changed from one shot to the next. Acting was fine.
The best part was the idea behind the story. Now if it was me, I would have added a second projection into the future where you are working for a big insurance company with a huge pile of paperwork on your desk on Friday afternoon. Seeing that, you then accept the party invitation.
Looking forward to your next video.
My unofficial vote goes to: MrMicah - Unexpected
Last edited by Playing; 2012 August 6th at 07:51.
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A note to Marc: I get: "Permission Denied" on two out of the 3 videos at the Antman site. I had to go to the private sites for both of them. (Not RookieGigs.)
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Just so you know:
I know, I usually write a little something about it, but as a first entry, I don't think it was necessary. Nice entry.
BLOG
The thought behind my documentary was to do it in modern style -video blog inspired. But most importantly I wanted to reveal something about me as a person and human being. Can't give anyone more than that, so thank you for commenting in a positive tone.
A few things have happened since the documentary was shot. My home country has confirmed to not give me a passport. And as the documentary ended: other countries follow. Meaning since over a month I have no papers, I'm not allowed to be on earth at the moment. The only person daring to comment it until today (got a second comment today) has been the leading refugee expert in my home country, she has off the record said that I better go to a next country. Today the law firm representing me since 1998 informed me that they will not represent me anymore. No reason mentioned, so I asked them for one.
That you have certainly achieved. I think that is really the only thing that makes all efforts worthwhile. I also suspect that this is what every film maker does. Intentionally or not.
Keep us posted as much as you are able to. Regards, Kurt.
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So, what's about reviews guys?
And also, what's happening with the prizes? Are they still available or..?
Huey, AJUK, Vishus...?
Sorry, Draps. I've been busy of late and lazy when not busy
But yes, the watch is still up for grabs and I'll post my feedback for the winning entry tomorrow. Sorry for the delay.
The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.
1) No prob Huey! All excused!Sorry, Draps. I've been busy of late and lazy when not busy
But yes, the watch is still up for grabs and I'll post my feedback for the winning entry tomorrow. Sorry for the delay.
2) Good news! We'll wait for it. By the time, we'll try to setup the next round to be ready.
I would like to watch the entries but I am getting a "Permission Denied" in the vimeo page. Can you make these video's public?
Canon 5D Mk2 / Canon HV20
Here's my reviews:
RookieGigs - 8)The Choice
Ericka, I liked your simple but interesting idea and on a second viewing it made its point. I'm not sure if the sign "WILL WORK 4 FOOD" needed to punch through more; it's possible I missed it the first time because I wasn't paying attention. A few technical points: The sound is noisy. A little trick here is to take a sample of the noise and loop it under the mix (like a roomtone). Humans tend to notice less when a noise is constant than when it cuts in and out. The shots of text being punched into the phone are too long, the audience doesn't need to see the whole process, so use jump cuts. Finally, keep titles to a minimum. Unless your obligated to credit someone, use only the essential info. In this case I'd have used "A Movie by <name>" and that's it.
Rock Donkey - Daily Contrasts-Documentary
On the first viewing I thought you were playing a part, although it was interesting, I had a hard time with the shaky cam and poor sound, intentional or not. Also the gaps in the story, make it confusing. Reading your subsequent post, it turns out that this is your real life story. I do understand why there are things you can't talk about, but explaining this in the movie would've given the piece more impact. I wish you the best of luck in getting things sorted out.
MrMicah - Unexpected
Congratulations on pulling this off, you've made something with story, talents and multi locations. If this really is your first attempt at such a project, you've done an outstanding job. I know you had trouble with the sound and learned a lesson, so I won't go into detail about how it could've been better, except to say watch your VU in post and make sure nothing ever goes over 0db, That scream at the end was way too hot. A couple of other technicals: I noticed some barrel distortion on a couple of shots. Did you use a WA adaptor? I'm sure the forum folks could help you overcome this. Sorry, I don't know much about them. The outside scene looked overexposed to me. Zebra stripes is your friend.
Finally, I'd say get some tips on directing. In places I was left with the impression you could've got more from the talents. Although they did a reasonable job
Good job everyone. My vote goes to MrMicah - Unexpected
Draps, sorry again for my late response. I know the other two reviews aren't official, but they're valid, I'd say. Unless anyone has any objections, why don't you close this contest and move on to the next?
The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.
It's real life alright. Even wrote up front that it is a documentary. Really wanted to participate this round, but in situations like this you aren't really in the condition to focus and do anything at all, so you have to turn that to your favor and do a short about that. Something that reflects the situation and since the theme is contrasts shaky camera is an effective way to show how shaky I feel right now. Will be extremely nice later, in a few years, to have this moment on film. I don't want to forget why I did these 30 km walks twice a week.
1) Thanks Huey!
2) So far, out of 3 reviews, we got a winner!
3) No prob Huey, we all have a life somewhere else! I'm with you, to get things rolling maybe we should declare the winner and get the next contest up.
So congratulations to MrMicah for his 1st Place in this round! Feel free to send me some suggestions via PM, and we'll get the next round started!
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