2010 November 24th, 13:50
Very Early Teaser Trailer to a short film I'm making
Sorry to bother you all with something so short... But I was wondering if I could get some feedback
I've only had negative comments of people so far calling it 'boring and pointless' so... anything that could cheer me up would be nice :P
2010 November 24th, 14:27
Pretty lights.. hammer.
What more can I say man?
2010 November 24th, 15:18
There's not much to comment on. I get where you are wanting to go with this trailer but right now all it says is 'christmas lights' followed by 'hammer'
Perhaps you should consider reshooting this so it is more of a surprise when the hammer is revealed, show shots of nicely wrapped presents, the tree, gifts, and then show the hammer. Show some blood, a body out of focus in the foreground, anything really to give it more substance.
Also the music needs to take a much darker turn on the reveal, so that the ominous nature of the hammer is obvious.
There is no title either, it just says 'Coming this christmas' and if it wasnt for the giveaway title of the actual video file, I wouldn't know this was anything but a Home Depot advert
So, it's not pointless, because I get where you want to go with it, but it's also not there yet either.
2010 November 24th, 15:57
Christmas lights...hammer. Christmas lights...hammer. Hammer. Christmas Lights.
No, not boring or pointless in the least.
2010 November 24th, 16:51
I agree with AJUK on all those points. Maybe even keep the gleeful seasonal music, but contrast it with something F'd up happening, blood, killing, etc; whatever the short holds. Doesn't tell much of what it is, comes off like test footage.
2010 November 24th, 17:17
Right now, I don't think "oh my, someone's gonna die by a hammer". I think, oh my, maybe some wreaths need to be hung. You gonna kill somebody, or hang a wreath?
2010 November 25th, 06:26
I sense a disastrous ending for somebody, but it could certainly use some more audio or visual clues that there's a contrast between the festivities and the impending pain.
Maybe a different light and framing treatment for the hammer…?
2010 November 25th, 10:32
Thanks for all the feedback. I appreciate all
The comments about having a murder scene or something in there but
At this stage that is simply impossible as all I had was some lights and a hammer and a piano and all I was given was the objective of creating a very short video to let people know that I'm working on something that will be ready for christmas