Personal thing...How to handle this situation?
Yesterday an old friend of mine [lost connection about 7 years ago, call him Bob], and a current friend [not that close but we're connected, call him Jack] got into a car accident. So Bob died in this accident.
Jack is telling people that a driver hit a red light and crashed into them, but the news report [that not many people have seen] says that Jack's the one who ran the red.
Should I put him in check and let people know that he's the one who caused the accident, or just stay out of it?
Do not view me as a critic or a judge. I just tell it how I see it, valuable or not.
It's not your business, don't do anything. Leave it to the authorities to prove who's right or wrong...
I'd stay out of that one, personally. I don't think it's going to help cause "Bob" is still gone. If it really was "Jack's" fault, that is going to be with him forever and is probably reprimand enough?
5d2, Sennheiser G3 ENG dual, L series glass, D-Focus, Juiced Link CX231
stay out of it...it's all hearsay to you...
Yeah that's true. I just always thought you should take responsibility for your actions.
Do not view me as a critic or a judge. I just tell it how I see it, valuable or not.
Yes, but you shouldn't take responsibilities for other people's action. Let him come clear himself. His conscience will punish him enough over time.
The lie might be part of a grieving process.
"It is dark the other side. Very dark!" - "Oh, shut up and eat your toast!"
You don't know the truth, so why act on something that may be wrong?
Is his lying - if it is that - bothering you? Is he traumatised? The world is also full of idiots. Are you doing okay after a loss?
I had the crappiest night I've had in a long time - knives, attempted throat slitting, gunshots, whores and cops. I really need a quiet life for about 6 months to a year - focus and work and exercise. Let's share a virtual beer cos life's weird.
Dude, that sounds like one of the best nights!
And Lawrence, definitely stay out of it. Everything works itself out eventually.
The news doesn’t get the story correctly many times. In a situation like this let the system decided who is right and who is wrong. Your friend is more than likely telling the truth as he believes it. My condolences go out to the families of those lost and injured.
Well, if 'Bob' was your BEST friend (or something close to it) 7 years ago and 'Jack' is just a person you see occasionally, I would call him out on it for lying since I would feel like it was dishonoring my old, good friends life.
I'd ask him about the newspaper article in private and if he said that he is in fact lying, I would rage on him every time he lied to someone about it. Just my 2 cents.
But if 'Bob' was not your best friend and was just a person you see occasionally somewhat like your relationship with 'Jack,' I wouldn't bother with the details of what he is saying.
Hope you figure everything out
-Lucas
I've decided to stay out of it. The news reports are getting bigger and bigger, people are seeing the picture more clearly, it has worked itself out. Thanks for the advice friends. It's weird how passing a red light can end someones life.
Do not view me as a critic or a judge. I just tell it how I see it, valuable or not.
... in other words, a typical evening in Patpong.Originally Posted by Dr. Benway
Yeah it is, take it easy.
The flap of a butterfly wing can change the whole world.
"It is dark the other side. Very dark!" - "Oh, shut up and eat your toast!"
I wouldn't be getting in a car with him though, if he's unwilling to take responsibility.
Why would you accept the explanation of a 3rd party that wasn't there over your friend who was? The news reports are often wrong about stuff like this in their reporting.
Very often - strange given that's their job, reporting that is.
In this day and age there is so much pressure to be the first to break a story in order to look well connected to what's going on. In their zeal, many reporters and news outlets sacrifice accuracy for being first.
"friends" are as unreliable as the news media when it comes to character issues.
Remember that there are witnesses to this and the "friend" has a great incentive to lie.
I'm not saying throw him under the bus, but I sure as heck would not get in a car when he's the driver or depend on him when questions of character come up.
Yup, I worked for a newspaper and know all about that - that and naivety, and under trained, unsupervised wannabes fresh from their journalism course coupled with, so to speak, lazy sub and chief editors.
It's not about accuracy, it's about filling the spaces between the ads - ad revenue being very important.
I tend to give my friends the benefit of the doubt over uninvolved 3rd parties whose agenda is unknown to me. I also didn't see where the OP asked anything about getting in a car with this person or about using him as a character reference. You've gone beyond the scope of the original question with your remarks.
Nope, right on point.
While the op did not ask those specific questions, this incident raises serious questions as to what future direction their relationship should take and the op would be well advised to consider them until the truth of the event is known.
The fact that he went public with his concerns is evidence that he himself has doubt about the nature of this relationship.
As for now I'm just going to help him through this rough time. If I jump at him he'll most likely have a mental breakdown. He knows the truth.
However, our friendship has been majorly affected, negatively. This kids always been trouble, it's time I slide away from being acquainted with him.
Do not view me as a critic or a judge. I just tell it how I see it, valuable or not.
Also, there were many witness's saying he did pass the red light. He got into a physical altercation with a man previously, then he went to pick up "Bob" for some reason, his emotions were running high and he didn't stop at the red.
Do not view me as a critic or a judge. I just tell it how I see it, valuable or not.
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