Competition Entry - Please critique

[IanB]

All,
This was my first time writing a full script, getting talent (not myself or my wife) and then shooting to a schedule. It dramatically helps the speed of the shooting when you have a storyboard of shots and a script written. (for anyone trying to speed up there shooting).

Now, the tech stuff is on the Vimeo channel, but it was the basic HV20 with Alex_MD adapter, and FD mount lenses, 24 F2, 50 F1.4 and 85 F1.8, everything was shot indoors with high CRI CFL lights and light boxes (DIY). I color graded to a green color and hoped that fit the feel of the shot.

password: Wild

[ame="http://vimeo.com/5450130"]This is a password protected video on Vimeo[/ame]

Thirty minutes until it is done converting.
Happy 4th of July!
IB

[IanB]

Wow, I didn't expect zilch after the first round. Anyone have anything to say? Or is it really that bad..

IB

[Tolin]

Never fade- Never fade unless it actually does something good (It rarely does).
The acting made me laugh, although it was OK. The biggest problem I'd say is the sound and the camerawork.

The video looks nice though.

[LOGOS PATHOS ETHOS]

I agree. There are some continuity flaws , but all in all the footage looks pretty decent and he got good exposure using the DOF , which is hard to do , specially with all the vignetting epidemic out there lol

sound needs work, I was watching it max audio and still couldn't get any dialogue and only vague background noises, sorry dude but your sound needs to be reincarnated into something else