The Palisade

[Braceface]

Here it is. This is the film I've been working on. I had to upload it at a low bit rate to fit it into 500 megs, but it looks okay. If possible, I'd ask that this new thread exist on it's own, not merged into my other Scenes from the Palisade thread which is full of broken links. This will make it easier for people to see without getting frustrated. Thanks in advance.
THE PASSWORD is Peter.
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It may be a good idea to let the clip load completely before playing.
[ame="http://www.vimeo.com/4257490"]This is a password protected video on Vimeo[/ame]

Here is a still shot/poster/publicity thingy

[IanB]

Braceface, I wanted to say that you have done a nice job here. Maybe a little less echo in the voices would be nice, and some more camera angles on some of the scene's. Technically speaking, I liked what you have done here.

I guess I am just not into the content enough. I watched the first 4 minutes, then started to fast forward. I think your style relies on a fantastic performance from your actors, and with the long takes and color style, they just didn't seem to perform as well as I would have hoped for these angles and longer takes. The script just didn't engage me in the story.

I loved the train shot at the beginning, and the dolly shot in the very beginning. I guess I was just hoping for a different story than what I received?

I look forward to your next story as I am sure you have more theme's to draw on. Good luck.
IB

[Mr. Kubrick]

Sorry but i just watched the first 3 minutes.....

[Ian-T]

This should have been a lot shorter. The dialoug was just too long and drawn out at times. I had to fast forward myself. The opening shot in the hallway was cool...it got my attention. But when the acting started....not good/convincing. Was that a DisneyWorld trolley they were riding on? The guy with the mustache seemed to read his parts ok....but the dialoug again was...forgettable. The special effect of him poppingout of the light was cool. One scene the guy in the chair was strapped down..in the next he was sitting there with his hands upwards towards his mouth (seems like a continuity issue there).

[PeriwinkleMoses]

I agree with the message and really enjoyed the prop design. Also, the lighting was pretty solid after the first act and you got some nice clean/crisp images from the camera you used (was it HV20/30 or something else?). The special effect of the guy climbing through the monitor was well done.

Other than that... the film didn't really do it for me.

The lead actor seemed extremely inexperienced, which led to an awkward, inconsistent, I'm-reading-the-script performance. His emotions went from extreme to Napoleon Dynamite at the drop of a hat. It seemed like the character had a number of emotion bullet-points to hit, hit them, but skipped the build up in between.

The writing was filled with the familiar: the classic "Who are you people?! Where am I?! Answer me!" scene, the "According to Section 40294 of Code 485734B of Charter 8439579D" scene, and the intoxicated freshman philosophy major at a Denny's around 2:30am "Why I don't believe in God" angst speech. It just felt... too easy. I know it's probably personal to you, but to an audience... meh.

This makes me think the directing could have been better as well. Catching and correcting what doesn't feel right is the director's job, but it doesn't seem like any of that was done here. If I had to guess, I would say there was no director, only a cameraman. I've run into this problem as well. Spending more time on feelings (yuck!) in pre-production would have probably helped bump out these issues.

The editing was weird in some spots. For some reason a shot was included where the stains from the previous blood-drooling take could be seen on the actor's throat. There were some shots that felt long and drawn out for no apparent reason (lead character dieing for example). It's fine to enjoy long, slow takes, but usually it's conveying something: a sense of emptiness, hopelessness, or impending doom, whatever. The long shots here seemed long for the sake of long. 2001 contained PAINFULLY long shots, but in the end, it felt right.

There were a few other weird spots as well. The recorded audio was poor in some areas and some the sound effects felt misplaced, cut off too early, or canned. The color correction was back and forth. The first act (before death) was plagued with all of the aforementioned issues and on top of that, feels tacked on and unnecessary.

Keep working. I've seen a few of your films and you keep getting better. I look forward to future projects.

[Braceface]

I agree with the message and really enjoyed the prop design.


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I always keep working Thanks so far for the reviews, and I WILL fix that one hand (continuity) problem. Funny that escaped me! I look forward to more reviews.

[blondandfun]

Out of a total of approx. 17 min., you only gave the main character minus opening sequence and minus heaven/hell scene like 30 seconds to establish likability.

Consequently, I found myself wanting something more violent in the end, such as smoke emanating from him and his skin turning colors, or for his head to explode or something.

[HueyNRolf]

It's certainly a far cry from your other work: the props and sets looked fantastic. Well done BF.

I found issues with loose ends in the first three scenes not being tied up at the conclusion... or was that supposed to be Lynchesque?

I didn't care for the writing, have to agree with the earlier comments on lack of direction and your lead guy didn't do it for me.

Sheesh, it looks expensive. Did you pony up a lot of cash ?

[Braceface]

Braceface, I wanted to say that you have done a nice job here.


***admin edit: rest quote removed***

There are a couple stories that I have on the back-burner. I think the next one is Mr. Tinkerland.

[Braceface]

Sorry but i just watched the first 3 minutes.....

Then you missed the girl on girl sex scene.

[Braceface]

Out of a total of approx. 17 min., you only gave the main character minus opening sequence and minus heaven/hell scene like 30 seconds to establish likability.

Consequently, I found myself wanting something more violent in the end, such as smoke emanating from him and his skin turning colors, or for his head to explode or something.

Or maybe an anvil to drop on his head from the sky. That would have been sweet too.

[Braceface]

the props and sets looked fantastic. Well done BF.

All of the props were hand made out of found objects.

[Braceface]

Was that a DisneyWorld trolley they were riding on?

Pretty much. Down here in miami we have the Metro mover which is very much like Disney's monorail system. It does a loop around the Metro area and is free to ride, no driver. That made filming there possible.

One scene the guy in the chair was strapped down..in the next he was sitting there with his hands upwards towards his mouth (seems like a continuity issue there).

I'm glad you caught that. Now I can fix it. Thanks. It's good to have extra eyes.

[HueyNRolf]

Another blunder was when the lead guy was shouting, the audio clipped.

[Braceface]

Another blunder was when the lead guy was shouting, the audio clipped.

There are many technical flaws to the film. You should see the film through my eyes.

[HueyNRolf]

There are many technical flaws to the film. You should see the film through my eyes.

That's asking a bit much of the viewer

[Mr. Kubrick]

Then you missed the homosexual sex scene.

Well Glad I missed it.

[Braceface]

That's asking a bit much of the viewer

I'm glad the viewer can't see it through my eyes.

[Braceface]

Well Glad I missed it.

[cornreaper]

Was the other guy on the train the same guy that was driving the van in Hwy 27?

Good job though. Loved the concept. Aforementioned technical criticisms aside, this is how a filmmaker develops. Better than anything I can do right now!

[Braceface]

Was the other guy on the train the same guy that was driving the van in Hwy 27?

Good job though. Loved the concept. Aforementioned technical criticisms aside, this is how a filmmaker develops. Better than anything I can do right now!

Yeah. That is Roland Fafard. He is a really good friend of mine.

[timecodebandit]

Braceface !!
I loved it...!
You entertained me for a few minutes.... thank you.
Yes, there were a few technical / continuity flaws,
but it made 'my foot tap!'. And I KNOW the work/love that went into it !!
Thank you,
Best,
fred (timecodebandit)

[Kevhead]

Then you missed the girl on girl sex scene.

[Braceface]

Braceface !!
And I KNOW the work/love that went into it !!
Thank you,
Best,
fred (timecodebandit)

Work? Me?
My pleasure

[Braceface]